It was a few years back I was at Barrel Race or Jackpot as we call them. I had put in the work, my horses we feeling good and we were starting to run consistent and we were clocking really good. I was finally feeling like I was getting it. Then I went to a bigger jackpot and as I was getting ready, I overheard some girls talking and their words got in to my head. I can’t really remember what they were, because this happened quite often to me back then, due to my lack of confidence in myself. I made my runs and things didn’t quite go as planned. As I walked back to the trailer all I could think was “why don’t I just trust what I know?” As I was unsaddling and was putting my horse a way a friend came up and asked me point blank “ How much are they paying you?” I was so confused by that question…. I asked her “Who’s paying me??” I was frustrated because of my runs and now confused. She asked me again “How much are they paying you? And are the chq’s clearing” with a smirk. I thought for a sec and said “Please explain I am lost.” She said “You ride hard, You know what you are doing so why do you let them get in your head?” she went on “Who ever has gotten in your head had better be paying for that space because that’s what's holding you back.” It took me a sec, to figure out what she meant. But she was talking about all those little voices in my head. You know the lies that we tell ourselves about what we can and can’t do. All of the voices of the people we let hold us back because they are to scared to chase their own dreams so they feel the need to voice their opinions.
I had never really thought about it like that before. I was giving away prime real estate to people who I thought new better than me or people I thought would judge me if I succeed or failed. That is right succeed or failed. Who does that?.... Like really….Let me guess there is probably somewhere in your life you are doing just that. But why??? We are the ones losing out….. half of them don’t even know the damn story in our head of what we think they think.
It is time that we take back our power and start living by our own standards and evict everyone who’s chq isn’t clearing!! It took me sometime to figure out just what that meant to for me. Once I figured it out, it was time to put my plan to action. Now when I go to Jackpots I keep to myself till after I run. Yes I still say hi and chat about the weather but I keep those conversations short and I stay in my own lane. I say a lot of Mantras and positive self talk to keep my head in the right place while I get ready. Some of my go to’s are…..
I am enough
My horses know their job
I know my job
We are a great team
We will succeed
We are prepared
It is crazy how much more ease and fun that I have when I go to Jackpots now because I am in control of who owns that prime real estate. I have now applied this to all areas of my life because we seem to give up the real estate to different people in different areas of our lives. So it is time to re-evaluate your life and start handing out some eviction notices and get back what is rightfully yours so you can start living your life for you.